What did Hitch do for Albert (the nerdy accountant who wanted Hitch's help to get him dates with the wealthy, successful businesswoman?) At one point in the movie, Hitch confesses, 'Nothing, absolutely nothing!' Ultimately, Albert had to take the actions. Hitch could only coach, mentor, and lead Albert toward his dreams. Albert had to step into his potential.
Hitch helped Albert become more self-aware. There is a very funny scene where Albert shows Hitch his dancing moves. Hitch says 'never, ever, do that again.' The point is that Hitch spent his time with Albert, helping him see himself as he was and helping him understand how Allegra Cole would perceive him. Helping someone see themselves more clearly is invaluable and something good coaches and mentors do frequently.
There is an excellent chart about 'known to self' and 'known to others' called the Jirahi window.
Another thing that Hitch did for Albert, and something good coaches, mentors, and leaders can do for others is Hitch helped Albert be more couragous. Often, people need a little 'kick in the pants' to step out of their comfort zone and do what needs to be done. Hitch talks with Albert about the importance and impact of 'the first kiss.' When Hitch is evaluating Albert's kissing approach, he tells him that most woman think the first kiss tells them everything they need to know about the guy and the relationship. This helped Albert realize the importance of this. Albert was very anxious about this, but he realized that he must overcome his fear. As Albert said goodbye to Allegra on the porch steps, at first he lost his nerve and walked away. Before he went too far, Hitch's advice and council kicked in. With all the courage he could muster, He boldly and courageously marched back to her and gave her a wonderful kiss that advanced the relationship.
The last thing Hitch did that a good coach, mentor, or leader must do is Hitch built Alberts confidence. Hitch met Albert where he was. He saw Albert's assets and strengths and believed that Albert could win a girl like Allegro's heart. Hitch believed in Albert and this enabled Albert to also believe he was worthy of Allegra's attention and affection. Through Hitch's encouragement, Albert was confident enough to try.
So where are you on this journey? Do people look to you for coaching, mentoring, and leading? Are you able to help them with feedback to improve their self-awareness? Are you able to give them a nudge to be more courageous? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. How can you meet people where they are, access their strengths, and give them the confidence they need to pursue their dreams?
For me, I had the benefit of having a coach who did all three of these things for me. Last year I would connect with my coach monthly and he helped me see myself and my circumstances accuratly. In an executive role, I lost my way at times in the maze of complexity and fast pace of business. My coach was able to see clearly both the outside circumstances challenging me, but also the behaviors and actions I was doing that were giving me results, often results I did not desire. My coach had a few 'kick in the pants' conversations to jostly me out of my comfort zone. One bad habit I had was I would let self-centered, negative narratives run wild in my mind. My coach taught me to NOT accept these narratives and to consider other narratives for the circumstance. I needed someone outside of my circumstances to not coddle me in my misery, but challenge my thinking to get 'higher' and 'bigger.' In the book 'Getting to yes with yourself' by William Ury, the author talked about 'going to the balcony.' This is a method where you stop in your circumstances and look at them from a different (higher view.) However you can take a breath and rethink things differently will benefit you. Things are rarely as you first perceive them. Lastly, my coach gave me confidence. At low points, he was able to see my potential and show me that I was very capable and able to take the actions needed. He saw my potential and built my confidence to step into it.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to message me directly or comment on the blog.
