Five Tips to Maximize Your Executive Coaching Experience
Congratulations on starting your journey with an executive coach! Whether you initiated this process or not, it's a significant opportunity and a testament to your potential. The effort you put into this experience will directly impact the benefits you gain. Here are five key concepts from my successful coaching engagements that can help you succeed.
1) Establish Success Measures
To maximize your coaching experience, it is crucial to clearly define your goals and set measurable success criteria to track your progress. Take the time to reflect on your aspirations for coaching, as relying solely on your sponsor's objectives may limit your growth. Instead, take ownership of the process and tailor the experience to your needs. While your sponsor's objectives may be performance-focused, articulating your goals is equally important. Doing so allows you to monitor your progress and recognize your growth effectively.
During my coaching engagement with Luke Entwistle of Curium Solutions US, we dedicated time in the early sessions to defining progress indicators. I monitored these throughout the coaching process and beyond. Rather than measuring success as "having fewer conflicts with peers"—since conflict is often unavoidable in a business context—I defined success as reducing emails and increasing face-to-face conversations, phone calls, and texts. Additionally, I monitored my response times to provocative emails and the word count of my communications. I also tracked how often I could resolve conflicts independently without involving leadership. While these success indicators were imperfect, they helped align my behaviors with desired outcomes—stronger peer relationships, better results, and greater independence.
2) Be vulnerable
Be open and vulnerable with your coach. Trust them and be transparent about your experiences, feelings, and challenges. Your coach is likely one of the few people in your life with no ulterior motives, solely focused on your success. While other relationships may benefit from your success, they often have complexities. Your coach's success is tied to yours, making them a unique ally. Share candidly with your coach about the situations you face. In my coaching engagement, I shared texts and emails to provide context for my responses to challenging situations. This transparency allowed my coach to identify areas for improvement and offer targeted guidance.
I had conversations with my coach about my emotions. I often feel frustrated and angry when faced with challenges, sometimes adopting a victim mindset. During our coaching sessions, I worked on identifying and expressing my emotions. In one instance, I realized that I felt shame instead of anger. By naming my feelings and exploring their underlying causes, I better understood my experiences. Sharing emotions, especially in a business context with a coach, can be difficult but crucial for personal growth. As human beings, we are inherently emotional and don't leave our feelings behind when we go to work. It's important to share how you feel with your coach so they can help you achieve better performance and greater peace of mind.
3) Journal
Journaling is a powerful yet often overlooked tool in coaching. It enhances self-awareness and helps you learn from mistakes while celebrating wins. Regular reflection through journaling can provide significant benefits. I journal weekly using "The Monk Manual," but any method that encourages regular writing and capturing your thoughts can be effective.
Another helpful journaling technique is writing letters to yourself, such as through the tool "Dear Future Me." Any method of documenting your experiences is valuable. Reviewing your journal entries (or letters to yourself) can offer helpful insights into your progress and provide significant encouragement.
Additionally, journaling throughout your coaching engagement and sharing your entries with your coach can effectively track your progress.
4) Prepare before and after each session
It is essential to follow up on the coach's suggestions diligently. During my meetings with my coach, I took detailed notes, and together, we developed strategies to tackle challenging situations. Although my coach rarely provided specific advice, there was one occasion when they suggested that I refrain from using a particular phrase that had caused friction with my sponsor. We analyzed why that phrase was ineffective and brainstormed more appropriate alternatives. As a result, we created new phrases that led to more harmonious and collaborative interactions. By preparing for each session, sharing recent real-life examples, and following the outlined plan, you can elevate your performance to the next level.
5) Believe that Change is Possible and Within Your Control
Believing in your capacity for improvement is essential. Leadership is a skill. While the saying "leopards don't change their spots" suggests that people are fixed in their ways, and the belief that "leaders are born" may persist, substantial evidence shows that anyone can enhance their leadership abilities with dedication and effort. It is rare to find a leader at their peak in their 20s. Effective leaders evolve into better leaders and eventually become exceptional leaders by studying leadership principles, understanding human behavior, and committing to continuous improvement. No matter where you are on your leadership journey, improvement is possible. Believing in this potential is crucial for achieving the best outcomes with your coach.
I sponsored an individual who had average coaching results. I initially supported them because they seemed high-performing and had great potential. However, they did not benefit much from the coaching experience, primarily because they believed their situation was unchangeable. They thought the culture around them was the problem and felt they had no options.
Despite the coach's encouragement to try different behaviors, the individual stuck to their usual ways and participated in coaching without genuine engagement. I expressed my disappointment, and while I tried to influence the individual's perspective, I realized that only they could change. No encouragement from me or insightful discussions with the coach could make a difference for someone who believed their circumstances were outside their control. Sadly, coaching had no impact on this person.
If you believe change is possible, approach coaching with the right mindset, and prepare, you will succeed with coaching.
