Learning to lead is difficult, but thankfully there are many people who have made the journey. These books are helping me tremendously.
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1) Back to Human - Dan Schawbel
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I do not receive any money or financial reimbursement from anyone for this blog.
All the comments and reviews below are my own personal opinion.
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1) Back to Human - Dan Schawbel
I heard about this book from the readtolead postcast. Read to Lead includes leadership authors who talk about their book. Part of the podcast also has the author mention 2 books that they read that influenced them. I did not get the book Back to Human by listening to the author's pod-cast, but instead because a different author mentioned this book as being highly influential. Now I see that this author is also featured on a podcast, so I'll be sure to listen to that one too!
I got this book at the local library and had to speed read it over Christmas break. It was so popular it was not eligible for renewal it since others had it on hold!
My key takeaway from this book is that we as leaders must be very deliberate in using technology appropriately and encourage our teams to do so as well.
My key takeaway from this book is that we as leaders must be very deliberate in using technology appropriately and encourage our teams to do so as well.
I am trying to incorporate learning from this book with my team. Last month we had our first team meeting and I asked everyone to describe something they are struggling with right now. All of them described challenges with time-management. We talked for a bit about lack of processes, drowning in e-mails and not clear priorities. I was able to quote from this book and describe how we can choose when to use e-mail and when not to. Maybe we can influence for more efficient work by NOT thinking that success in a day is ‘getting through all my e-mails.’
2) The First 90 Days - Michael D. Watkins
My brother-in-law Scott Monroe recommended this book to me. I started a new job in July and I heard about this book in August. I was really bummed that I did not read this when I gave my notice. 90 days is not much time and I lost a full 30 days by not having this information. Even still, this book was invaluable to me as I tried to keep my head above water learning a new company culture & a new job.
The key takeaway from this book is that it is essential that you don’t fall into historic patterns of familiarity in your new role, but that instead you venture into the very scary and uncomfortable space of learning something new and trying new things. I found myself on many occasions in the first 3 months of my new job, falling back into what I was good at. For instance, I'm really good at documenting process flows using visio. In my first three months when I would get overwhelmed, I would start creating a visio flow of the process! Some of that work was beneficial, but largely the work I did outside my comfort zone was what added value to the new organization. The book helped me spot the times and places I was falling back into familiar work and then stop and question the value of that.
The other key idea was to very clearly set a common measure of success with my new boss. Thankfully the words ‘what does success look like’ resonated with my new boss. I was also very fortunate to have a great manager who really understands people. He checked up on me often, was very good at both listening and giving me direction. Het very clear objectives for what he wanted from my new role and helped me achieve a few ‘early wins.’
The other key idea was to very clearly set a common measure of success with my new boss. Thankfully the words ‘what does success look like’ resonated with my new boss. I was also very fortunate to have a great manager who really understands people. He checked up on me often, was very good at both listening and giving me direction. Het very clear objectives for what he wanted from my new role and helped me achieve a few ‘early wins.’
3) The Road Back to You - Ian Morgan Cron & Suzanne Stabile
I learned about this book from the podcast ‘Typology.’ My friend Cindi Mitchell recommended it to me and I listen to this regularly. The host of the podcast is the author of this book.
The podcast and book are all about the Enneagram, an ancient model of understanding human psyche. It’s way more than a ‘personality test’ and is quite different from other personality profile systems like Myers Briggs. The Enneagram gets much more at why we manifest our personalities the way we do. It is more about our core belief system that was established as children about how we present our persona to the world. Yes, this is kind of heavy stuff, but it’s very good.
I’m a 7 – the enthusiast. I manifest to the world as adventurous & optimistic, always quick with a new idea and challenged when asked to choose only one option. I avoid pain by not being ‘in the moment’ and when anticipating pain, I take myself into a future state that is appearing to be more interesting or fun. If you know me, you would probably confirm all of that. I knew I was an Enneagram 7 before reading this book so the key takeaway for me was more about how to develop & interact with people based on their enneagram.
I’m a 7 – the enthusiast. I manifest to the world as adventurous & optimistic, always quick with a new idea and challenged when asked to choose only one option. I avoid pain by not being ‘in the moment’ and when anticipating pain, I take myself into a future state that is appearing to be more interesting or fun. If you know me, you would probably confirm all of that. I knew I was an Enneagram 7 before reading this book so the key takeaway for me was more about how to develop & interact with people based on their enneagram.
I have a direct report who took the assessment and self-identified as a 5. As I work with him, it is helpful for me to know that when he gets overwhelmed his instinct is to go inward, look for additional data and work on urgent things, not necessarily high priority things. As I work with him on growing and developing, these insights help him focus on a few key priorities at a time and challenge him when he appears overwhelmed to take it ‘one priority at a time.’ We both have seen him improve in focus and delivering on commitments since we are both tuned into his ‘natural patterns of behavior.’ So that is what ‘The road back to you’ was able to do for me.
Curious to know what your enneagram number is? The link below takes you to a survey. Note - it is 100 questions and will take @10 minutes or more to complete.
https://exploreyourtype.com/details
Curious to know what your enneagram number is? The link below takes you to a survey. Note - it is 100 questions and will take @10 minutes or more to complete.
https://exploreyourtype.com/details
Okay, so you may say that Panda Planner is not a book, but since it’s a bound compilation of papers with words and images in it, I’m counting it in this list. I’m also including it in this list because it is making me a better leader. I heard about the Panda Planner from my daughter, Sarah Demchuk. She came across the planner in her work as an editor at a non-fiction book company ‘Page Street Publishing.’ I put it on my Christmas wish list last year (Christmas 2017) and received it as a gift from my son. I LOVE it!
I immediately started writing in it. Before I give you my key takeaway from it, let me describe it. It’s a 3-month undated planner which includes a monthly section, a weekly section and a daily section. Each day I fill out the Morning Review. This challenges me to find things I’m grateful for, things I’m excited about, an affirmation statement and something to focus on. In the weekly section I get a review of last week and a place to write down my plan for the coming week. This includes a section for me to write down how I will make the week great in my personal life, my work life, with family/friends and with relationships.
I immediately started writing in it. Before I give you my key takeaway from it, let me describe it. It’s a 3-month undated planner which includes a monthly section, a weekly section and a daily section. Each day I fill out the Morning Review. This challenges me to find things I’m grateful for, things I’m excited about, an affirmation statement and something to focus on. In the weekly section I get a review of last week and a place to write down my plan for the coming week. This includes a section for me to write down how I will make the week great in my personal life, my work life, with family/friends and with relationships.
My key takeaway from this book is that focusing on gratefulness every single day and writing down on paper a daily affirmation statement makes me happier. There is science to back this up. I find my panda planner to be essential for my health and well being and I use it consistently to prioritize what’s important for me. Oh and it also helps me focus at work on the top priorities for the month, week and day. Overall, a fantastic tool for your personal and professional life.
5) Crucial Conversations
I heard about this book from my daughter in law Jessa Monroe. She told me her dad Chris Mitchell uses it in his executive coaching work. The key takeaway for this book is that you shouldn't avoid crucial conversations. Instead, you should prepare for them by understanding how your body reacts to high emotional states. You should focus on what you (and the other person) really want. Similar to 'Getting to yes with yourself' and the 'Chimp Paradox' - this book explains our bodies natural reactions to high emotional states. It provides tools and insights to manage these conversations better. I like that the book doesn't try to pretend that you could have a perfect crucial conversation. It often talks about just having a better outcome. This stuff is hard. Nobody does it well. We are all learning and growing as we go.
One tool (or suggestion) from the book that I found very helpful was the chapter on creating a safe environment. When both parties feel safe, you can effectively communicate and solve problems. When either person doesn't feel safe, it blocks effective communication. I know this first hand from many crucial conversations I've had in the past. I can recall (vividly) some crucial conversations where I did not feel safe and I shut down. I've been in crucial conversations where we managed to create a safe environment and the end result was very productive and enlightening. As much as I'm able, I try to ensure a safe environment for these conversations. Sometimes I can't control it as much as I would like, but I realize I own my part of creating a safe environment no matter who has the power.
I heard about this book from my daughter in law Jessa Monroe. She told me her dad Chris Mitchell uses it in his executive coaching work. The key takeaway for this book is that you shouldn't avoid crucial conversations. Instead, you should prepare for them by understanding how your body reacts to high emotional states. You should focus on what you (and the other person) really want. Similar to 'Getting to yes with yourself' and the 'Chimp Paradox' - this book explains our bodies natural reactions to high emotional states. It provides tools and insights to manage these conversations better. I like that the book doesn't try to pretend that you could have a perfect crucial conversation. It often talks about just having a better outcome. This stuff is hard. Nobody does it well. We are all learning and growing as we go.
One tool (or suggestion) from the book that I found very helpful was the chapter on creating a safe environment. When both parties feel safe, you can effectively communicate and solve problems. When either person doesn't feel safe, it blocks effective communication. I know this first hand from many crucial conversations I've had in the past. I can recall (vividly) some crucial conversations where I did not feel safe and I shut down. I've been in crucial conversations where we managed to create a safe environment and the end result was very productive and enlightening. As much as I'm able, I try to ensure a safe environment for these conversations. Sometimes I can't control it as much as I would like, but I realize I own my part of creating a safe environment no matter who has the power.
